A Crystal Bath & Farcical Punishment
So Sebastian Vettel has claimed yet another Formula One victory and looks set to claim the Championship Title as early as the next round in Singapore. We all know what happened in the race so there is little point in boring you with that. But I will talk about one or two other things that I noticed from the weekend at Monza.
Firstly, blink and you’ll miss it, yes it was a Hispania Racing Team car charging through the field from the start to take up its highest ever position in a Formula One race. On the weekend Eddie Jordan criticises the three newest teams to the F1 grid for their poor qualifying results, Antonio Liuzzi hits out at the critics by getting a storming start from the back of the grid to take eighth place into the first corner. Unfortunately for Petrov and Rosberg, he was coming in sideways and wiped the pair of them out. But not only did Liuzzi very briefly take the dizzyingly high spot of eighth, in the process he also gave HRT the most race exposure they’ve had all season. Colin Kolles must be proud and is now sitting waiting for his phone to ring with potential sponsors for their ‘Cool Spot’ on the side of the car. Yes, that’s right, your company could appeal to race marshalls worldwide as they pick up bits of car with your logo on!
This accident led to the most ridiculous punishment imaginable, a five place grid drop for the next race in Singapore. The team who boss the back row of every race grid have got to start five places back on the grid. How is this even possible? Will Liuzzi have to start from Silverstone? Can you even punish a team that are as bad as HRT anyway? There isn’t even any point in going out to qualify. Answers on a postcard for possible punishments please.
On a more serious note though, the battle between Michael Schumacher and Lewis Hamilton drew a lot of attention. Lewis has been in for heavy criticism this season for what some may call overzealous driving style. However, despite being in a car that was struggling to close the gap on Schumacher’s Mercedes, Hamilton kept cool and avoided taking unnecessary risks. The same couldn’t be said for Schumacher. No stranger to controversy himself, the ageing German was determined to keep the young Brit behind him and in doing so pulled off some questionable moves. Not only did he move across Lewis twice on more than one occasion but he also forced him onto the grass at Curva Grande. Moves that no doubt would have landed Lewis in hot water with the stewards but went unpunished for Schumacher.
I have read in the papers this week that the sponging Tamara Ecclestone is to get a new bath for her £47m house. Of course, this hard working young woman who is always on the go needs somewhere nice to relax and unwind at the end of another hard day at work so it’s only right that she deserves something a little bit special. No trip to B&Q for Miss Ecclestone then. Oh no. Five men have been dispatched to the Amazon Jungle to bring back crystal to make the plush bathroom fixture at a cost of One Million Pounds. Not only that, but the floor has to be reinforced to hold the weight of the flipping thing! It’s a pity she’s not the same size as her father then she could save herself the hassle and bathe in the sink. So all of you, who like me are cross about the new Sky TV deal, fear not, you can rest assured the extra money that has been generated is being put to a good cause and helping those unfortunate soles who have to struggle through life. Meanwhile, I have news for you Mr Kolles, that extra £1m Bernie promised you next season thanks to the new TV deal, I hate to say it, but you might be left a little disappointed.
Finally, did anyone else see David Coulthard and Jake Humphrey on the BBC pre race coverage together in the feature about the simulator at Red Bull? Were my eyes deceiving me or was DC actually sitting on Jakes lap with his arm around him bouncing up and down like a kid in Father Christmas’ grotto asking for a pony?! I’ve heard of close working relationships and I know they like to wear matching pink shirts but that’s taking it a bit too far surely.